So, what shall I post today? It’s been a while since I posted any original words or thoughts: 15 days.
A lot has occurred since that last real post.
I watched as my mom’s life slowly ebbed out of her as I tried to keep her as comfortable as possible and tried to comfort her. I’ve learned a few things in the past 15 days. Maybe I’ll expound on each of the following in future posts-it helps me to remember.
- I was never ‘ready’ for my mom to die. I was too caught up in keeping her comfortable with all the tasks involved. Didn’t want to prepare for her passing.
- There was really little I could do to ease her death. I kept her in good position for breathing, clean, dry, bathed, hydrated and gave her medication that eased her labored breathing. But she still struggled.
- My mom died with grace, awake and alert throughout her discomfort and laboring. 3 days before she died, I found at 6AM that she should have called me with her call button but didn’t. I asked her why. She said, “Ruth Ann, you need your sleep.” Another time the day she died I told her with angst that I couldn’t make it any better. She said, “Honey, you’re doing all you can.” She was a great mom.
- In the dying process, people begin to leave the world around them in their consciousness long before actual death. She had periods where she seemed in deep thought and when she responded couldn’t tell me where she had been mentally, though many times she was thinking of my dad.
- When my mom left us, it was a shock. Just hadn’t prepared myself though I knew the facts.
- There is a huge hole in our lives. The first meal I prepared for my husband and I, I pulled 3 dinner plates from the cupboard; then realized we didn’t need 3.
- Others give us comfort in our mourning. A quote goes something like this: You comfort those in mourning better by saying the wrong thing than by staying away. True. Those who are here for us bring us back to reality. That’s good. It’s also good knowing someone cares and loved mom too.
Thank you for all of your prayers. It’s a rocky road but we will walk it with the Lord carrying us.
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
(Psalms 56:8 NLT)